Moms Talk: Mother's Day

Q: Flowers and gifts aren’t what I really want for Mother’s Day. What I really want is a clean house, a cooked meal and some time to myself. How do I tell my family this without hurting their feelings?

A: I am a selfish mother. I say this because I hate doing motherly things for Mother’s Day. Much of motherhood is about obligations, commitment and sacrifice. Of course, love is the essential element that makes it all worthwhile.

How do I get my way? I ask. Asking for what you want for your special day is the best way to ensure your satisfaction. If you let people guess how to make you happy, you are more often than not going to experience disappointment. Communicate with your family your vision of the perfect day in advance.

Imagine a day where you don’t have to wash dishes, cook, clean, put away laundry, wipe the sink, clear the shower drain or any of that other motherly stuff.

What do moms really want for Mother’s Day? Here is a Mother’s Day wish list to pass along:

1. Time. Time to do the things life never seems to allow. Time to read, sleep in or lay in the sun. Time may not seem like a thing you can easily give someone, but by taking care of some of the obligations that traditionally fall on a mom’s shoulders, time is magically hers.

2. Thanks. Say thank you for whatever she has done for you. There are many ways to express thanks. Many of them simple. Many of them free. Everyone appreciates more appreciation, right?

3. Clean the house. Or, hire someone else to do it. Show her how much you appreciate all the things she usually does for you by doing them yourself. Do this only if you want to make her extremely happy.

4. And if you do have some money you want to spend on her, here are a few recommendations that would make any mom’s day special:

• Books. If you aren’t sure what genre she prefers, look at the stack beside her bedside table or consider her favorite hobbies. always has a wide selection of beautiful books.
• A pedicure. I really don’t know a woman alive who doesn’t fancy getting her feet prettied up. Maybe she’s out there and I just haven’t met her. A certificate for won't be wasted.
• Something pretty to wear—a scarf, jewelry, a nice bag. Stop in at to find something unique.