Cabrillo Bound

I’m going to Cabrillo in the fall.

The lack of introduction, and of the necessary and expected suspense that should be paired with such a declaration, is perhaps indicative of how I feel about it. Three months ago, to utter those words would’ve been to place a dagger neatly in my hopes and dreams. I’m going to Cabrillo. It still doesn’t taste very good on my tongue, and yet, I’m happy for it.

Gone are worries of insurmountable debt; gone is anxiety derived from looming and ever blossoming fees; gone the fear of terrible roommates and gone is the fear that every class I take is a waste of time and money. Still, with these worries go thoughts of the city; gone, too, the thoughts of dorm-mates-turned-life-long-friends; with relief I feel defeat, in my own small, insignificant, and no doubt overly-dramatic way.

I don’t mean to offend anyone—Cabrillo is an excellent school—and I actually love the classes I’m going to be taking in the Fall (as well as the financial aid I’m getting when I compare it to the University of San Francisco). I just never wanted to go there, and writing that now I realize I probably have said this paragraph in more than a couple other articles (that in itself is another small dagger in my chest somewhere). I don’t want to stay at home, I don’t want all the familiarity of the place I’ve lived in for the past forever, and I don’t want to put off the grand adventure that all my friends will be embarking on for yet another year. But you know what? I also don’t want to sacrifice my future for a mere four years—a nothing in the grand scheme of things. I don’t want to feel like I rushed into a choice that has crippled me and my life plans. So yes, I’m happy I’m going to Cabrillo.

And by the gods I am excited for the courses they offer, and terrified by the extreme nerdiness of the first half of this sentence.

I’m only planning to be there for one year, and then I’m going to reapply to colleges that have what I want and don’t cost my eldest born or an annual sacrificial virgin. In this way I have the satisfaction of saving money, of having extra time to look at schools, and of not missing out on the dorm-full-college-experience etc. etc. ad nauseum. 

Everyone keeps telling me how smart I’m being, what a good choice it is to attend a junior college and transfer to somewhere else, so I’ll keep holding onto that.

What do you think?