Parenthetical Over Use of Grammatical Rarities

If typing keys could still rust mine would be crumbling beneath my fingers right now. True, I have no real concept of what I'm going to write in this post, more of an odd desire to publish inanities to the internet (I swear to God if you so much as think I'm about to go off on the rant about my generation and facebook or social media or some redundant similar BS you have another thing coming.) Fortunately my long absence from this place has left me with a wide space from the masses (a bittersweet victory is what comes to mind) and so I guess I can write without fear, which is a dangerous thing, especially with no plan.

But like my best friend Georgia always says, "I know what I'm going to do; I just don't know how I'm going to do it." Which really is one of the best mottos in life I think I've ever heard.

The more I write the more I realize how very much this mantra applies to me- because it is a mantra; something to say to yourself over and over again in the dark spaces between turning off your bedside lamp and falling asleep, when thoughts and anxieties and questions seem to be the loudest. It's the perfect phrase. The pessimist sees only the second part; the optimist only the first; and neither are correct. It's not that you know exactly what you're going to do, and nor is it that you have absolutely no clue how to go about doing something; it is the combination of the two.

I know I'm going to do this thing, it will happen and it is assured, I just don’t know exactly how I'm going to go about doing it.

So fine, I’m rambling, it’s not my fault you’re still reading this (though to be fair I have your eyes move through a lot of semi colons, parentheses and other grammatical delicacies to entertain you in the hopes you never notice how I don’t ever seem to reach a point.)

The point is I know what I’m going to do:

1) I’m going to travel

2) I’m going to go to a University and I’m going to be able to pay for it in whatever way I possibly can

3) I’m going to write

4) I’m not going to starve because I choose to write

5) I’m going to become the ideal* state of immortal by 26

The issue is of course, I just don’t know how I’m going to do it because:

1) Money and rent and food and visas and expiration dates are all for some reason or another a thing that exists

2) Universities in the U.S. can somehow justify exorbitant fees including but not limited to your financial future, while the rest of the world seems to have phenomenal educational systems that are both cheaper and more efficient**

3) Writers are not typically the gloriously dislikable/envied and bedazzled 1%***

4) Science****

So yes, if typing keys could rust my fingers would be orange and this page blank and my entire life goal pretty much swirling down the drain- but they don’t (usually). So I’m here, writing this, and the great big ambiguous You is here, reading this, and where has it gotten either of us?

Well, hopefully you’ve learned some sort of vague life lesson from the addled brain of an underdeveloped 18 year old frontal lobe and gotten a neat motto to tell your kids, and I…

Well I suppose I did the semi-satisfactory task of making a to do list.

*The ideal state of immortality***** is as follows: Being able to die only if you choose to; never having to eat but being able to; never having to sleep but being able to; and being able to make other people immortal or mortal at will.

**This isn't so much based on research as incurable fernweh (which is a word you really should know)

***Speaking of the one percent, whatever happened to the whole Occupy thing?

****Science is a relative term I loosely apply to things I can’t understand, sort of like what people did with the word “magic” back in the day or what people do with “the will of God” in the South

*****This hasn’t been thoroughly thought out